The Sky is Crying
by Caveinimicum221B
Summary: Short AU of if Meredith actually died. how would Derek cope? Rated T to be sure. Contains scenes of self harm.


Disclimer: I don not own or claim to own any of the characters or the plot of Grey's Anatomy, sadly that all belongs to Shonda Rhimes and ABC.

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She's gone and he is going too. Even if it takes him longer. He was at home, waiting for her, when he got the call. In that one moment his world fell apart, they told him that the love of his life was dying. He drove to the hospital on auto pilot, only thinking of all the times he had hurt her. The time he had called her a whore, the time he had chosen Addison over her. He had hurt her so ran to her room to find numerous doctors crowded round her bed, desperately trying to bring her shattered body back to life. And then they called it. Meredith Grey, time of death 10:47. He screamed at them to try again but they ignored him, he desperately began to beat hard down on her broken, cold chest. No one had the heart to tell him to stop. After what had seemed like a lifetime to him, gentle hands pulled him of her cold, lifeless body. She looked so calm and peaceful.

Goodbye my lover,

Goodbye my friend

You have been the only one,

You have been the one for me.

He broke down again only this time no tears came only heart wrenching sobs. They lead him away from her and to a quiet room. The woman pulled him into a tight embrace rocking him slowly, stroking his hair until his sobs faded.  
He slept only for a while until the heart wrenching pain woke him up. He lay there in the room that Mark and Addison had taken him to for who knows how long. The lights flickered and Mark walked in holding a tray of food. He sat down on the bed and tried to coax him to eat, Mark fed him like a baby and he just sat there and took it. He wanted to be the one to wash her delicate body, he couldn't bear the thought that someone else would be the last person to touch her. They agreed and took him to the cold room where her body was being kept. He look down at her pale, empty face and a sob broke out. He stroked a rouge hair back into place, he caressed his fingers down her face remembering the last time he had held it in his hands. He picked up a sponge ad began to wash her, every movement brought a new pain. He swept the sponge across her flat abdomen and remembered all the times that she had gone on about having his perfect little babies. He finally moved to her face. Her face looked just like the time he had pulled her out of Elliot's Bay, calm, pale and still. He sat down next to her ever cooling body and held her hand. He whispered to her "I wanted to marry you. I wanted to have kids with you. I wanted to build us a house. I wanted to settle down and grow old with you. I wanted to die when I'm 110 years old in your arms. I want a lifetime."

In the following days he was never alone, Mark and Addison never left his side. He sat by the window never saying a word, just staring. He felt empty, now the love of his life was gone and along with her a part of him. Addison came and told him he needed some songs to be played at her funeral, he chose her favourite song, "All I Want". The day of her funeral, it was raining in true Seattle style. He was dressed by Addison, shaved by Mark and walked to the car. He starred out of the window as they passed the site where the crash had happened. Old withering flowers tied to a tree, the only sign that she had ever existed. He stood by her grave and started into space as the vicar talked about how bright and bubbly Meredith had been. What a lie he thought to himself. She was dark and twisty and her death had left him just the same, even if a little more. He bent down and placed a rose on the coffin, where her heart was.

A statue stands in a shaded place,

An angel with an upturned face

Her name is written on polished rock

A broken heart that the world forgot. **  
**  
Her song began to play.

All I want is nothing more,

To see you knocking at the door.

If I could see your face once more,

I could die a happy man I'm sure.

He turned and left. He hadn't shed a single tear at her funeral, but when he got home they came. A torrent of tears cascaded down his face, but no sound. He walked into his bathroom to see his razor glistening. He thought for a moment and then picked it up. He drew the blade across his skin and a sense of relief overcame him. He did it again and again until all the pain that he could feel was his burning skin. At least he knew he was alive. He heard footsteps and saw Mark and Addison come running in. Addison dropped to the floor and started to weep. Why was she crying? He was hurting for Meredith, he was mourning. Isn't that what he was supposed to do?

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

Addison stands and wipes his wrists, carefully she bandages them.

I would hold you in my arms,

I would take the pain away,

Thank you for all you've done,

Forgive all your mistakes,

There's nothing I wouldn't do,

To hear your voice again.

He was found face down, floating in the cold murky water of Elliot's Bay. He looked calm and at peace. Only those closest to him understood, it was because he was with is Meredith again.

There comes a point when it all becomes too much. When life drowns you with happiness only to then flood you pain. When we too tired to fight anymore. So we give up.

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Please leave a review as this is my first fanfic. Be as harsh as you want, criticism is much apriciated.


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